Valentine Political Poem

Cassidy Stolarek, Staff Reporter

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Twas the eve before Valentine’s

and all through the Senate

not a voice vote was ringing

… except that of Mike Bennet

You see, earlier that day Paul Ryan had said

“don’t let your crushes die in committee, love needs to be spread!

Look at our calendar, there isn’t much time!

Just tell Gwen Moore you like her, she’ll think you’re a dime.

‘Rado District, Wisco District… the difference is null.

You both serve in finance, so let conversation be full

Don’t talk to Chuck Schumer, he’ll talk you right down

And don’t even think about Pelosi, she’ll think you’re a clown.

I can help you, don’t fret!

A joint committee’s our “in”

just come very prepared

if you want to win

The ethics committee won’t wonder…

we’ll do it all by the books

it’s just like logrolling

but you win with good looks

if you want to be reported favorably

you’ll need something more

perhaps a good pickup

not more lame home décor

this amendment we make in the constitution of your heart,

and for sure with closed rule (there’s not much to depart!)

no threatened vetos to come

(at least fingers crossed)

… but that President Veto?

well, who knows with the boss!

let them mark up and cloture our seemingly foolproof plan

in the end a spade’s a spade… and you’re the man!

The Federation of Labor would applaud your hard work

wait… actually… I’ve been the one talking… but I’m not a jerk!

The Chamber of Commerce, I think, would be more your speed

they are business oriented, which is just what you need!

Look! Here comes Moore, you know just what to do!

Just say ‘Are you a Senate Floor? Because I’d like to filibuster you!'”

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